His pledge to her:

i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you.  i will love you. i will love you.

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before, but it’s so perfect.

i think I am going to cry

I think at least 200,000 of those notes are me reblogging this

(Source: atomos, via aroused)

I want to start my own micro nation. 

21.Oct.14 3 hours ago


Two of my favorites from my last trip to Asheville

(Source: cloud-pleaser, via empathyisthepoormanscocain)

21.Oct.14 3 hours ago


My professor was eyeing me the whole time i was in class. I thought she wanted some of this chocolate, turns out my nipples were on hard for the last 2 hours  

(via juicy-cloture)

20.Oct.14 4 hours ago






My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me so I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically

Update my mom just told me that if I had even a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there

Update #2: my dad apologized and told me he had only done it for ‘the grater good’

These are my goals as a parent

Haha. I am this type of parent

(via highclasssoccermom)

20.Oct.14 7 hours ago


"Fire Crotch"

An artistic interpretation of my ginger roommate’s pubic hair

(via roaminromans)


And still the Muslims are the terrorists

(via peaceful-wanderer)

(Source: miamatangi, via queen-mo)





I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went “ohhhhhhhhh” 

CEOs all runnin around terrified of blue shells from the homeless

(Source: thetangential, via the-thighs-of-a-cutter)

(via roaminromans)


Somehow my friend knew I found this on my FB wall lol

(via the-thighs-of-a-cutter)


sorry guys i tripped

(Source: theclearlydope, via pixelnuggets)

So I just applied for a job in New York.

20.Oct.14 13 hours ago